I’m not going to sugar-coat it…it’s been a bad week for goals. Honestly, I don’t even know where the week went. It feels like it should be Saturday or Sunday, not Wednesdays. I don’t know what it is exactly, but it feels like my days are about ten hours long, max, and even if I sleep a full 8 hours a night that still leaves six hours unaccounted for. How is that possible? I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the hubby bought me Final Fantasy X/X-2 HD for my birthday and I’ve been more than a little obsessed with it this past week. Maybe I’m just losing my mind.
Anyway, we may as well get this over with.
Goal #1: Lose ten pounds and become healthier overall.
It’s big confession time. When I began this goal at the beginning of the year, I weighed myself to see where my starting point was, and made a personal note of that number. This morning I weighed myself again, mostly out of curiosity, and found that not only have I GAINED five pounds on top of that starting point, but I am now officially one pound heavier than my husband. He’s not a huge guy, so it’s not like it’s an enormous deal, but he does have about 8 inches in height over me, so it is a little bit of a big deal and I’m not happy with it.
This morning before I started writing this post I was actually considering putting this goal on hold for a month or so so that I could focus on the more important Goal #3, but now I feel like that would be a bad idea. I knew that I wasn’t doing well on this goal – I’ve been lazy and I never stick to a healthy diet for more than a day or two in a row – but I really wasn’t expecting to find out that I GAINED weight, and now I feel horrible. I am officially at the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life, which is approximately 50 lbs heavier than I should be. NOT HAPPY. NOT HAPPY AT ALL.
In related news, I’ve been in to my doctor to talk about my blood work. While it wasn’t terribly revealing, it did tell us that there is definitely inflammation somewhere in my body, and I now have an appointment for a CT scan on the 30th to see if they can find the location of said inflammation. I doubt that this particular issue (and it’s eventual treatment) will have any affect what-so-ever on the weight-loss end of this goal, but hopefully it’ll help out a bit with the “become healthier” part.
Goal #2: Be more active on social media and work hard on my “author platform”.
The week started out half decent with some blog community interaction and some tweeting and bumming around on Facebook. But the past three or four days have been truly abysmal. I have a major backlog of A to Z blog posts to check out from my fellow participants, and I don’t think I’ve replied to a comment on my own posts since Saturday or so. Not good, not good. Again, I’m truly disappointed in myself.
Goal #3: COMPLETE my zombie apocalypse novel, Nowhere to Hide.
At the beginning of this past week I was genuinely confident that it was going to be the week that I finally got some work done on this goal. I thought, at the very least, that I would get through the list of “invisible typos” that my beta-reader made for me. You can probably tell by the “tone” of my wording that this did not, in fact, happen. It did not happen at all. That’s why I was considering putting Goal #1 on hold for a while, so at least I could focus a little better (maybe), but now I don’t know what I’m doing. I think I might need to hire a time management expert. Or maybe I just have to take my laptop and leave the house for a couple of hours every day. I don’t know. Suffice it to say that this past week was abysmal, and I’m still very disappointed in myself.
Goal #4: Write 500,000 words.
And finally, the goal that is usually my saving grace only serves to cement that inner disappointment that I keep prattling on about. This week, despite doing nothing at all toward any of my other goals and, truly, doing nothing productive at all that I can think of, I also managed to write bugger all. Over the course of an entire week I managed to force a grand total of 718 words, an average of barely 100 words per day. Truly, truly, truly disappointed.
On the upside, I’ve already beaten last week’s word count with just this one accountability post, so I’ve got that going for me. 😛
7 thoughts on “Accountability Wednesdays: Week 15”
Has it been a week already!?
I have to admit, for me this A to Z Challenge has obliterated any hope of keeping up on writing of any sort! If I were you, I wouldn’t beat myself up about not making progress on some of your other writing goals. And you did write an entertaining post! (Lots of them, in fact. 🙂 )
Happy belated birthday!
Thanks for the belated birthday wishes! 😀
The reason I’m beating myself up is that I actually had all these A to Z posts written and scheduled before the challenge even started. lol So I’ve actually pretty much been sitting here doing nothing all month so far. o.O That said, I’m not used to having so much activity on my blog to deal with, so I guess there’s that defense. lol ❤
This post reminds me of how I feel all throughout the winter season. I have lived with major depression since a very early age. Winter is the absolute worst for me. I get little or no writing done, and I even have a bad habit of packing up my photography equipment until spring arrives. Thank goodness for scheduled posts!!!
I’m right there with you, dear. I wouldn’t say that depression is a MAJOR problem for me, but I definitely get pretty damn lethargic and cranky in the winter. Honest to puppies, I can be a miserable brat one day, but if the next day is super-bright-and-sunny I’ll be the happiest, most productive person you’ve ever seen. Too bad I live in Eastern Canada, where we only see the sun for three months out of the year. 😛
Goals can be tricky. They are fantastic motivators in the beginning, but in the same swoop they can also be filled with crushing disappointment.
You’ve known me a long while and I’ve always been a big girl. So I can speak from experience. I’ve learned to not pay attention to the number, and not set high hopes to see a particular result. The disappointment is bad and can discourage you from trying. I’ve also learned that winter is not my friend. Even on my days off from work I’d rather stay in my pajamas in front of the tv then venture outside. I’ve also learned that spring and sunshine are my saviours, they motivate me to get moving and get active.
I’ve also learned to cut out sugary drinks, that alone is huge. If you want a empowering read, pick up the book Secrets From A Former Fat Girl by Lisa Delaney. It’s fantastic. Teaches you to not plan and just do!
Every day is a struggle, but you can only face it and manage it step by step!
I’m with you on the “tricky” aspect of goals… I set the goal of “ten pounds” simply because it’s an easier number to look at than, for instance, my waist measurement. The measurement is what I really care about, but I don’t know what a reasonable goal is for that…if I say I want to lose three inches, am I setting the bar too low, or am I setting myself up for disaster because such a thing will take a really long time? I honestly have no idea. That said, mostly it just bothers me that I FEEL so heavy. Like, for instance, my feet and ankles are always sore lately, and when I get down on the floor to play with the little missy it takes me way too much time to get back up. I’m not that old yet (haha), so the only explanation I can think of is the weight.
On the other side of the argument, I’m sitting right there on the couch next to you during the winter. When the sun goes away I instantly become a lethargic slug and have a ton of trouble getting ANYTHING done, even just little household chores. Once the sun comes back out (especially if the weather is nice too) I get super-motivated. Last Spring I was running like a pro with my “Zombies! Run!” app, until I started having my stomach problems. I’m really REALLY hoping that they figure out what is wrong soon so I can start that program again because I really think it was doing good for me.
Also, thanks for the book suggestion…I’ll definitely check it out! I’m a sucker for a good “get off your ass and just DO IT!” book. lol
Thanks for taking the time to digitally poke me in the eye, Tammy. ^_^
Any time Tracey!