Slip-Sliding Away

Have you ever felt the strange sensation of time slipping through your fingers?

If you follow my blog (and I know at least some of you do…hi guys!) you may have noticed that I failed to post anything for the past two days, and that’s not terribly like me. I miss days every so often, of course, but it’s rare for me to miss two in one week, and very rare for such a thing to happen when I’m not even working (i.e. have plenty of spare time).

But the thing is, I’ve been having one of those times – you know the kind – when even though you’ve got nothing that needs to be done, you still feel as though there aren’t enough hours in the day, like you’re losing time somewhere.

Do you guys realize that we’re already (pretty much) into the last week of January? How the hell did that happen? It feels to me like Christmas just ended and somehow the first three weeks of 2015 just up and flew away from me, never to be seen again.

Of course, there are reasons for this feeling, because there are always reasons. One big reason is that I’ve finally (after a great deal of back-and-forth-ing, I might add) gotten my official call-back for work, complete with flights and camp booked. This means that in less than two weeks I’ll be flying back out to Alberta, away from my husband and daughter for two weeks at a time, freezing my butt off while working 12-hour days for 14 days straight. Now, see, I really don’t mind the fly-in fly-out lifestyle that much, and it has certainly been worth it for my family to be able to get ahead in life the way we have. But this particular job has me cringing a bit for a few reasons. One is that I’ll be working out in the field again (by which I mean literally outside, in the freezing cold, in Northern Alberta), which is something I haven’t done in quite a while (I’ve been working via the control room, all warm and cozy at a desk), so it’s going to be a bit of a shock to the system to get used to again. Another thing is that the camp I’ll be staying at is nothing to write home about – unlike the last two camps I stayed at this one requires me to share a bathroom with my neighbor, the walls are so thin that you can hear every little noise at all hours of the night, and about 80% of the food options make me physically ill. Finally, since the cellular network is so awful where I’m going, and since my work hours coincide with her waking hours/kindergarten hours, I’m fairly certain that I’m not going to be able to Skype my daughter while I’m on this job. It might even be difficult to call her since I’ve been warned that the cell network has only gotten worse since the last time I was out there.

So yeah…understandably, I’m not exactly looking forward to starting this particular job. But then again, with the price of oil the way it is right now, I’d be a complete moron to turn down any kind of work.

Then there’s another factor playing into my feeling of time-loss. The other day when I picked my daughter up at kindergarten I was handed this pile of papers:

schoolregThat’s right…school registration. This coming September my daughter will be officially starting school. Real school. How screwed up is that? My cousin (whose daughter is 4 months older than mine and thus also starting school this September) and I had a long conversation last night about how crazy it is that we’re sending the girls off to school already. They still seem so young, and my daughter in particular seems so tiny (short girl genes, poor thing). Now, technically I could hold her back another year, because her birthday is only about a week before the cutoff, and parents do, of course, have the option to wait an extra year if they don’t think their child is ready. But I do think my child is ready. She’s a smart kid, she learns fast. She’s already learning the basics of reading, and she’s way better with numbers than most kids I know her age. And she loves “little girl school”, so chances are that she’ll love “big girl school” too. Honestly, I think it would hurt her to be held back until next year way more than it might help her. She is definitely ready to go. Even if it makes me feel like I’ve suddenly gotten very old very fast.

Of course, there’s always lots of little things to destroy my sense of time as well… Like, for instance, the fact that I’m desperately trying to get my manuscript straightened out in time to be able to submit it to the local publisher’s call-out next month. Or how my husband and I are trying to get some stuff done around the house before I’m 3000 miles away and unable to help out. Or the fact that for some reason I’ve been tired as hell lately, so I’ve been wasting even more time snuggled up in bed late many mornings.

All in all, everything culminates in the frustrating sensation that time is rapidly moving away from me and I have no idea where it’s going or how to stop it.

Have you ever felt like time was slipping away from you? How do you deal with it? Do you ever feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day? If you’ve got kids, do you ever feel like they grow up every time you blink? Here’s a question: how many hours do you sleep in a night, and does it feel like enough (for me, it seems like I can sleep 9 hours a night and still be tired)? Share! Comment! Commiserate!

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15 thoughts on “Slip-Sliding Away

  1. I’m almost always feeling that way. I still long for the days when I’d just come to Japan. That was nearly 10 years ago, and it doesn’t feel like it should be that long ago. I feel like I’ve missed so many travel opportunities in Japan for various reasons. And now, with only about 15 months left in Japan, I’m not going to get the chance to see all the places I’d planned to see. We’ll be in Alberta around April next year. Hopefully, I’ll be able to have a job that will give me time to write, but also time to take vacations and travel. We need to visit Japan often.

    • I wish you all the best of luck with that! I long every day for a life where I get to stay home and just write and take care of the house. The fly-in fly-out lifestyle is not nearly as bad as I once expected it to be, but you do get pretty damn sick of it. So much time spent in plains, so much time spent eating crappy food on the camps…yeah, it starts to grate on a person after a while.

        • The money is the only reason anyone would do this! lol In all seriousness though, because of the temporary nature of the work the money is always good, and on any given job I am making more than what my husband and I made combined when we were working at the paper mill. So yeah, it’s definitely worth it. It’s just not an ideal lifestyle. The traveling is a pain in the ass, and it sucks having to live at a camp and be restricted to their food and all that. But one upside is that if you work it out into waking hours, I actually see my daughter MORE with this kind of work than I would if I worked a regular 9-5 at home. Sounds insane, but it’s true, because when I’m on my days off I can spend every second of it with her if I want.

            • Yeah, it definitely makes the system more tolerable. The only thing is that the travel is so long that technically I only get 12 days, because you lose the entire day before you shift heading out there, and the entire day after the shift getting back.

                • Reading on the plane depends on the flights. Most of my flights out leave super-early in the morning, so I’m exhausted and end up sleeping most of the way there. The flights home are similar you usually leave work, bus to the airport, and then fly through the night.

                  As for writing and keeping up with things online, that depends on the job itself. The last job I had was a DCS one, which basically means that I was sitting in the control room with a radio, waiting for the guys in the field to call me. Whenever they weren’t calling I could sit there with a notebook and scribbling stuff down, so I actually did get a lot of writing/planning done during work hours. But the job I’m going to now is a field one, which means that I will be physically traipsing around outside all day, so no, I won’t be getting anything done during work hours. I’ll try to get as much as I can done after work, but since it’s 12-hour days plus an hour worth of bus rides and I have to fit breakfast/supper/showers/laundry in there as well, that usually means that I only have a half hour to an hour a night to do anything that needs doing.

  2. I sleep about 6.5-7 hours a night, but I have a hard time getting up in the morning when it’s cold… and yes, time feels like it is always slipping away. One thing I’ve done that seems to help is to stop multi-tasking. I stick to one activity/task until it is completed, and then move on to the next. Then I’m not spending 7+ hours on a blog post, or whatever, and the final product is exponentially better.

    Good luck with your job… we just had 10 students at our school hand in their notice of withdrawal… not for any reason except that they are old enough now to have to attend other cram schools. Some of them have been in our school since they were toddlers. It’s crazy.

    • I have a rough time getting up in the morning when it’s cold as well, but the worst for me is the dark. When I’m working in northern Alberta in the winter it’s miserable because the sun doesn’t even BEGIN to rise until about three hours into the work day. And the summer actually isn’t any better because the sun only sets for about three hours in the very middle of the night, so you’ve got to hang a blanket over your window just to get some sleep, and then of course you’re still waking up in darkness. It’s a lose-lose situation. >..>

      Unrelated note: the idea of cram schools always made me shudder a little. My mind has deteriorated something fierce over time but when I was in school (not college, but the primary education system) it was almost unknown for me to study more than a day or two in advance for anything. My brain just seemed to absorb everything. Of course, then I hit college and it was like someone flicked a switch in my head that turned that ability off. >.>

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