Punishment Required

I’ve been a bad writer this past week.

I don’t mean that my writing has been bad (although I suppose that’s up to interpretation). What I mean is that my dedication has been bad.

Let’s start with the first 6 days of last week and their respective word counts:

Sunday – 421 words
Monday – 0 words
Tuesday – 449 words
Wednesday – 1235 words
Thursday – 0 words
Friday – 445 words

As you can see, during those 6 days I only reached my goal once. I had three days of less than half of my daily word goal, and I even had two days during which I didn’t write a single, solitary word (unless you count Facebook statuses, which I unfortunately do not). Disappointing! Oh my gosh, disappointing! I’m absolutely disgusted with myself!

But the worst thing of all is my word count for Saturday….I wrote 2811 words yesterday. What the hell is wrong with that? Well it’s not the word count itself…it’s where those words were applied. They were neither blogging words, nor words added to the ever-nearing-completion zombie novel I’m (supposedly) dedicated to finishing. No…those 2811 words were added to (…wait for it…) my Final Fantasy VI fanfiction*.

*Herein referred to as “Shit I shouldn’t be wasting time on”

In my defense, let me provide you with a little bit of information on my writing style:

I currently have 7 ‘stories’ in the works. One is the zombie novel I’m (supposed to be) working on, one is the drabble collection I mentioned in a few other posts, one is a supernatural romance that is mostly finished but requires an overwhelming level of editing, one is a sci-fi adventure featuring characters based on people I’ve come across in real life, one is the fantasy adventure I’ve been working on since mid-college, and the remaining two are fanfictions (i.e. things I’ll probably never get legal permission to publish) based on the video game worlds of Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy VI (North American version III). I’ve been working on two of these stories for more than seven years, three have come up on me in the past three years or so, and the other two I’ve only been working on for between one and two years. The reason I have yet to actually complete any of these stories is because I have what I like to call “Author’s ADHD”.

See, when it comes to writing, I have a ridiculously hard time staying focused and interested in what I’m currently working on. I’ll get super excited and dedicated to one story for a little while, but then as I’m writing I’ll slowly get bored and annoyed. I’ll get stuck on hard scenes, frustrated with boring scenes, and just downright bored with the overall story. Then something else will catch my eye…I’ll start thinking about one of those other 6 stories and I’ll long to work on it. All of a sudden I’ll have a hundred awesome ideas for fun and interesting scenes for that story…the one I’m not supposed to be even thinking about because dammit I have to work on this story! Eventually I give in. The piece I’m supposed to be working on gets left in the dust, and after a while I get bored with the piece I’ve moved to and get similarly seduced by one of the others. It’s a vicious cycle that never seems to end for me.

Recently I’d been doing really well. I dedicated myself to my zombie novel, told myself I was going to damn well finish it. I set a goal of 1000 words a day, and said that the only other words that would could would be my blog posts. And I was doing half-decently, I believe! And then…I let myself get seduced by that damn fanfiction. I wanted to write something fun and easy, and I gave in. Now I have to try to pull myself away from the seductress and slink sullenly back to my zombies, begging forgiveness.

I need Author Ritalin.