“L” is for “Losing Sleep” – An A-to-Z Blogging Challenge Post

For the A-to-Z Challenge 2017 I’m writing all about myself. Every post will be some random fact or bit of information about me that you may or may not have already known. Maybe you’ll learn something! Feel free to let me know! ^_^

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I know the way this one sounds, but it’s actually not going to be about anxiety or stress or anything like that (although they may play a part, depending on how you look at it).

I lose a great deal of sleep on a regular basis, and it’s all because my brain evidently refuses to switch off. Now, I have no problems actually falling asleep. Unlike my husband – who needs something like a TV show to distract his brain so he can just zone out and eventually fall asleep – I can go from fully awake to out cold in just a few short minutes. Falling asleep has never been my problem.

My problem is the dreams. 

Now, I’ve never had a sleep study or anything like that done, so I can’t rightly say that the dreams themselves are the problems, or if they’re just a symptom of my body refusing to sleep properly, but one thing is clear, and that’s the fact that I spend a very large amount of time in REM sleep. I’ve complained for years that I spend all night every night dreaming, and subsequently had people scoff and inform me (as though I’d never heard this information before) that we only actually dream in the few minutes that we spend in REM sleep, but what I’ve learned through specialized devices and apps that monitor your sleep, that “few minutes” for me is more like “a third of the night”.

I have blockbuster full-length motion picture dreams, you guys, and I’m not even exaggerating. My dreams feature a huge number of characters, intricate plots, and a flurry of emotions. They are extremely detailed and extremely vivid. I’ve written down dreams that took a dozen pages to fully explain, and I’ve woken up from dreams absolutely devastated by the events that unfurled because I was absolutely convinced they’d actually happened. I’ve had dreams that made me feel like weeks passed in the time I spent asleep, and I’ve had dreams that absolutely exhausted me, both emotionally and physically, to the point that I’d swear I never slept at all.

The best part, however, is that there’s basically nothing I, or anyone else can do about it. Sleeping pills are a common suggestion, but those drugs are specifically designed to put you to sleep. They do very little to actually keep you asleep, which is where my problem lies. I drift in and out of my sleep cycle, spending more time in the “practically awake” phase than in the “deep asleep” phase, and I’ve been told flat out that there is nothing currently available that addresses that particular issue. So I guess, for the foreseeable future I just continue to lose sleep on a regular basis.

At least the dreams are good writing fodder. 🙂

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How do you sleep? Any troubles at all? Any outrageous dreams? Feel free to leave a comment!

Accountability Wednesdays: Week 19

I’m just gonna put this out there, on the off-chance that someone actually responds. If there is anyone out there who has the secrets on either, a. turning off your stomach so that it stops feeling hungry all the time for no reason, b. learning how to happily exist on less sleep, or c. getting stuff (work/exercise) done in your sleep, I would greatly, greatly appreciate a heads up.

Moving on.

Goal #1: Lose ten pounds and become healthier overall.

As you may have already discerned from my little passive-aggressive rant up there, this goal is still not going so hot. I had really, truly hoped to have a good doctor’s appointment on Friday…a revealing one. Unfortunately, it was more along the lines of, “Well, we know there’s something wrong because you’re telling us that something is wrong, and also your blood work is telling us that something is wrong, but…we don’t know what is wrong.” Basically, none of the tests show anything. I have a ton of symptoms, but they can find no signs of any kind of condition. My family physician is convinced that my problem is the same as one that my mother has, but again, no proof. I left my doctor’s office on Friday with a vague sense of doom and a prescription for a trial run of some meds that may help, but may also make my problems worse. Oh, and it may take up for a month for me to even notice if they’re making a difference, and they cost $80 for a month’s supply. So yeah. I’m not in the best of moods concerning that particular aspect of my life.

Several times in the past week I’ve tried to convince myself to get up and go for a run in the morning, but it hasn’t happened yet. A combination of straight-up laziness and fear that my stomach will fall clean out of me the second I try to move has kept me from taking the leap. To make matters even more fun, I’ve crossed back over into the “ravenous hunger” part of the strange hungry/not-hungry cycle I go through for no discernible reason (see request a.).

All in all, just feeling horrible about myself. There’s always next week, I guess.

Goal #2: Be more active on social media and work hard on my “author platform”.

I suppose I can give myself some kudos on this one. My Facebook time has slowed down a bit, but I notice I’ve been doing a lot more consistent interaction with other bloggers, plus I’ve actually been dropping in on Twitter every now and then. I’m also proud to say that I’m THIS CLOSE (*imagine me holding my fingers a really short distance from each other*) to hitting the 200 followers mark on this blog. Since I entered April of this year with somewhere around 150 followers I’m pretty excited about that. Go me!

Goal #3: COMPLETE my zombie apocalypse novel, Nowhere to Hide.

As mentioned last week, I took a break on this one in order to beta-read a manuscript for a friend because I didn’t want to be trying to divide my attention between the two different stories. Well I’m happy to be able to announce that I managed to get the beta-read out of the way this past week. It was the first one I’ve ever done, and I believe I did a pretty good job, so yeah…pride. The story was also a good one, so that helps of course. XD

Point: I didn’t get anything done on this goal this week, but now I have no excuses. Nose to the grindstone time, baby.

Goal #4: Write 500,000 words.

Finally something I can feel really proud about. Mostly all the words that I wrote this week were for the purpose of scheduling blog posts ahead of time, but it was a lot of words written for the purpose of scheduling blog posts ahead of time. All together I would up with 9785 words for the week, which is almost as much as the last three weeks combined, and also the most I’ve written in one week since March. Now if only I could keep that up for a few weeks, am I right?

You know I’m right.

Things I Know About Kids: They’re Evil Little Opportunists

I’ve complained about my sleep problems here a few times now. They are great and plentiful, and range from “tossed and turned all night for a week and a half” to “my dreams were so vivid I woke up more exhausted then when I went to bed”. Since I seem to have so much trouble with sleep, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I’m neither a night person nor a morning person. I generally like to be snoring well before midnight, and I’m cranky as a bear if I wake up before 8 am. I am one of those people for whom the “8 hours a night” adage is 100% true. If I don’t get my 8 hours I am not a happy camper.

Now, because I have a toddler, those 8 hours can be hard to come by, but for the most part I usually manage to get to sleep early enough so that when she wakes up to go potty or ask for a glass of milk it doesn’t disturb me too badly. And since my daughter isn’t exactly a morning person herself, usually our mornings mesh pretty well.

But every now and then my daughter senses something, and she takes advantage.

Last night I was awake until at least 1 am. For some reason I was wide awake, so it took a while for me to pass out…and precisely four hours later, at 5 am, there came a “bang, bang, bang” on my daughter’s door. She didn’t need to go potty, and she didn’t want a drink. She wanted to get up and go downstairs to play. I managed to convince her that she couldn’t get up yet because it was still dark, and back into bed she went. I returned to my own bed to try to get some more sleep, but instead I tossed and turned…until 6 am, when my daughter began pounding on the door again to inform me that the sun was now up and thus it was time to get up. I could scarcely argue with her, since I’d just explained to her that dark means bedtime.

Okay, so perhaps this isn’t exactly a fact about kids, but I’d be willing to bet that most parents out there would agree with me. Kids just seem to have this power, this sixth sense if you will, that tells them when the best opportunity to screw over their parents is. And so the first night in ages that I couldn’t fall asleep at a decent time also became the first night in ages that my daughter decided to get up at the crack of dawn.

Your kids will do this. They will do this on a regular basis. You will wonder how in the world they can know the exact right time to mess with you. You’ll wonder if they’re doing it on purpose, trying to see how far they can push you, to see if they can make you crack. It’s ingrained in them. It’s part of who they are. Get used to it, because it’s a bumpy ride filled with lots of jaw-clenching annoyance and fatigue.

Which, of course, makes the ride no less awesome and adorable.

Shown above: No less adorable.