“L” is for “Losing Sleep” – An A-to-Z Blogging Challenge Post

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For the A-to-Z Challenge 2017 I’m writing all about myself. Every post will be some random fact or bit of information about me that you may or may not have already known. Maybe you’ll learn something! Feel free to let me know! ^_^


I know the way this one sounds, but it’s actually not going to be about anxiety or stress or anything like that (although they may play a part, depending on how you look at it).

I lose a great deal of sleep on a regular basis, and it’s all because my brain evidently refuses to switch off. Now, I have no problems actually falling asleep. Unlike my husband – who needs something like a TV show to distract his brain so he can just zone out and eventually fall asleep – I can go from fully awake to out cold in just a few short minutes. Falling asleep has never been my problem.

My problem is the dreams. 

Now, I’ve never had a sleep study or anything like that done, so I can’t rightly say that the dreams themselves are the problems, or if they’re just a symptom of my body refusing to sleep properly, but one thing is clear, and that’s the fact that I spend a very large amount of time in REM sleep. I’ve complained for years that I spend all night every night dreaming, and subsequently had people scoff and inform me (as though I’d never heard this information before) that we only actually dream in the few minutes that we spend in REM sleep, but what I’ve learned through specialized devices and apps that monitor your sleep, that “few minutes” for me is more like “a third of the night”.

I have blockbuster full-length motion picture dreams, you guys, and I’m not even exaggerating. My dreams feature a huge number of characters, intricate plots, and a flurry of emotions. They are extremely detailed and extremely vivid. I’ve written down dreams that took a dozen pages to fully explain, and I’ve woken up from dreams absolutely devastated by the events that unfurled because I was absolutely convinced they’d actually happened. I’ve had dreams that made me feel like weeks passed in the time I spent asleep, and I’ve had dreams that absolutely exhausted me, both emotionally and physically, to the point that I’d swear I never slept at all.

The best part, however, is that there’s basically nothing I, or anyone else can do about it. Sleeping pills are a common suggestion, but those drugs are specifically designed to put you to sleep. They do very little to actually keep you asleep, which is where my problem lies. I drift in and out of my sleep cycle, spending more time in the “practically awake” phase than in the “deep asleep” phase, and I’ve been told flat out that there is nothing currently available that addresses that particular issue. So I guess, for the foreseeable future I just continue to lose sleep on a regular basis.

At least the dreams are good writing fodder. 🙂


How do you sleep? Any troubles at all? Any outrageous dreams? Feel free to leave a comment!

A Gift from Area 51!

We got a mysterious package in the mail from….AREA 51! Okay, okay, it’s not all that mysterious because it’s from Mike, and his YouTube channel is Area 51…but still awesome! XD

Mike sent us a parcel of comic books that he thought we’d enjoy, and we definitely got a huge kick out of them! Check it out!

“K” is for “Kicks to the Head” – An A-to-Z Blogging Challenge Post

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For the A-to-Z Challenge 2017 I’m writing all about myself. Every post will be some random fact or bit of information about me that you may or may not have already known. Maybe you’ll learn something! Feel free to let me know! ^_^


Those who know me these days would be hard-pressed to believe that I was ever involved in any kind of sport, but I did actually go through a period of a few years during which I was quite involved in Tae Kwon Do. I got into it when my boyfriend of the time did, and I ended up enjoying it a heck of a lot more than I expected to. I wasn’t confident at first, because I’ve never been good at anything even the littlest bit athletic, but one thing that I have always had is a decent amount of strength in my legs, and that played into Tae Kwon Do very nicely.

The repetition of practicing  kicks was both soothing, as well as being an excellent workout. I loved doing my forms, and although I wasn’t a fan of the jogging at the beginning of every class, I actually rather enjoyed sparring with my classmates.

Sparring wasn’t the best though. Contrary to the fact that I wasn’t a huge fan of being the center of attention back then, I really enjoyed going to competitions and fighting all out. There was something extremely cathartic about really genuinely fighting someone with all my might. That said, it was a bit of a double-edged sword, because as I was trying to kick my opponent as hard as I could, so she was trying to kick me as hard as she could. And as I was never the greatest at dodging, the result of these fights was usually more than a few kicks straight to the head.

Upon further thought…that may have been around the time that I found my brain decided to stop working properly. There’s something to think on. :3


Did you ever participate in any kind of sports? Did you enjoy them? Feel free to comment!

Early Birthday Present for Me from David! :D

I got a birthday present in the mail! A buddy from the Basement Geeks, David, sent me along two awesome Funko Pops that I’d realllllllly been wanting! Thank you so much David!

(P.S. By the time you guys are seeing this blog post it has actually gone past my birthday, but this video was recorded before it. ^_^)

“J” is for “Jason” – An A-to-Z Blogging Challenge Post

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For the A-to-Z Challenge 2017 I’m writing all about myself. Every post will be some random fact or bit of information about me that you may or may not have already known. Maybe you’ll learn something! Feel free to let me know! ^_^


Is it cheating to talk about my husband when my theme is to talk about myself? Well TOO BAD! 😀

Jason and I first met in high school when I decided to crash my best friend’s science class one period. She sat in the back corner, and there were no seats around her, so I literally sat on the floor next to her the entire class. Jason happened to sit next to her as well, and for a while after that I was referred to as “Kelly’s weird friend who sits on the floor”. Simultaneously, I incorporated Jason into a ridiculous story my friend and I were co-writing for fun, because as a goofy geeky guy who was really into Powerpuff Girls at the time, he seemed like an excellent comedy relief.

Eventually we started hanging out more because – DRAMA! (j/k) – I was dating one of his best friends. We went to lots of the same parties, went to movies/bowling/shopping/etc in groups, and so on, and to be perfectly honest…we didn’t really like each other that much. Mainly it was teenage stupidity; I was the chick who was dragging his buddy down, and he was the guy who was always around when I wanted to be alone with my boyfriend.

In the second year of college, my boyfriend broke up with me and headed all the way to Sweden to do a term there for school. Around the same time Jason decided to leave the program he’d been in at his university and moved home. As a result, we started hanging out together a lot more, with the other few mutual friends we had who were going to the local university. When faced more with each other on a more personal level, it eventually began to become clear that Jason and I actually had a fair bit in common, and were a lot more suited to each other than my previous boyfriend and I had been. Then, one day, he asked me out, and the rest, as they say, is pretty much history.

We’ve been together now for nearly 15 years. We have a house, a beautiful daughter, we co-host our YouTube channel, and we spend our days enjoying each other’s geekiness. Don’t get me wrong – sometimes we fight like cats and dogs – but it’s definitely love. No two people who weren’t in love could have put up with each other’s foolishness the way we two have. XD


Do you have a significant other? If so, how did you meet? Feel free to leave a comment!

“I” is for “Imposter Syndrome” – An A-to-Z Blogging Challenge Post

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For the A-to-Z Challenge 2017 I’m writing all about myself. Every post will be some random fact or bit of information about me that you may or may not have already known. Maybe you’ll learn something! Feel free to let me know! ^_^


Show of hands: who here has ever heard of something called “Imposter Syndrome”? I know I certainly hadn’t, until maybe six or seven months ago, but like the anxiety that I mentioned coming to terms with back in my “A” post, once I knew that this was a thing, I realized immediately that I suffer from it in a big way.

Basically, what “Imposter Syndrome” is, is a mental condition in which high-achieving individuals are unable to internalize their own achievements and accomplishments and suffer from a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud. It tends to afflict adults who were “naturals” as children; the kinds of kids who got perfect grades with very little effort, or were just naturally talented at things like sports, the arts, and so on. As adults, those children feel, for whatever reason, that the things they accomplish are mere luck, that they aren’t truly accomplishing anything at all, and that one day the people around them are going to wake up and realize that they’ve just been tricking everyone into thinking they’re anything other than a charlatan.

It might sound weird to someone who has never experienced it, but the second I had someone explain to me what this phenomena is all about I knew that it described me perfectly, and it explained a great deal about the random bouts of anxiety and depression that I’ve had on a regular basis for the past decade or more.

As a kid I was a total nerd, naturally intelligent and moderately talented musically and artistically. I regularly had the highest grades in my classes, read the most books, won awards, and so on and so on. In that sense I held myself in high regard. I knew I was smart, I knew I was talented. I knew that I was going to be the kid who grew up to do great things, one way or the other. Even though I was teased for my geekiness, tormented for being a nerd, and was kinda socially awkward, I always had that knowledge in the back of my head that I was a winner.

And I can pretty much pinpoint the moment when that all fell apart.

Our school system does not properly prepare young people for college, in my opinion. There’s so much hand-holding and pushing-through in the K-12 system that once you hit college, where your decisions have real world consequences (fail class – lose money, etc), a lot of young people fall apart. For me the moment was second-semester Calculus. My program didn’t require Calculus, but after seeing my excellent Pre-Cal marks from high school, the dean suggested that I take the two semesters of Calculus rather than the four semesters of required “Technical Math” in order to save both time and money. I thought that sounded totally logical, so I went for it. Unfortunately, our university happened to have two of the worst Calculus teachers a student could possibly imagine, and they were the only options. My professor, in particular, refused to answer questions in class (because it would disturb his precious plan), and failed to ever be available outside of class hours to help students who were having trouble. I’d always been excellent at math – my high school marks averaged around 98 – so at first it wasn’t a problem, but by the time I hit the second semester the vast quantity of new information that was being thrown at me began to pile up, get confused in my head, and everything began to fall apart. All of a sudden I had no idea what the heck was going on. Math didn’t make sense anymore, and I couldn’t wrangle two seconds with my professor to  help me figure things out. My fellow students were just as confused, so I had no one to help me, and I began flunking quizzes and doing miserably on assignments. I wrote several tests that I barely passed by the skin of my teeth. It was all going to hell in a handbasket.

And then the moment of truth happened. It was the night before the final exam. I was cramming like crazy, but it didn’t seem like anything was sinking in. At some point I took a break and looked through all my quiz/assignment/test scores to figure out what kind of score I needed on the exam in order to pass the course. I don’t remember what the exact number was, but it was  higher than I thought I could manage. In that moment, my brain kinda broke. I know now that it was hardly the end of the world, but as someone who had never failed anything before in her life up until that point, I had a total nervous breakdown.

I won’t go into the details about what happened after that, but in the end I just managed to pass Calculus with a mark of 52, and I considered it both the biggest failure and biggest relief of my life.

And after that, my mindset just seemed to do a 180. I no longer considered myself to be a “winner”. From then on, in the back of my mind, I always had this little voice telling me that I’d only ever been lucky, that I’d never really been smart or talented, and that it had all come to a head with that Calculus class. Practically everything in my life after that seemed like I was just acting. In my work I’ve often considered myself to be the least-knowledgeable and least-useful member of the crew, even when I was doing good work. In my writing I’ve regularly told myself that everyone who ever liked my books was just lying to make me feel good. Even in day-to-day life I’ve found that voice telling me that my friends and family were just humoring me, and that someday everyone I’ve ever known would turn around and finally start treating me like the useless failure I really am.

Logically I know that this line of thinking is ridiculous. I’ve done some great things with my adult life, not the least of which has been raising a smart, beautiful daughter, publishing two books, and making a ton of awesome friends through my YouTube channel. But that voice is still there, all the time, whispering horrible things in my ear, telling me that I’m a fraud, a failure, and a miserable imposter, and that everyone around me can see it too. And every time I fail anything in the slightest or do something that my boss/a friend/a family member scolds me for, that voice gets twice as loud and twice as bold.

The good side to all of this? Once I knew what it was called, it became a hell of a lot easier to deal with. Because, for the past decade, it’s just been the voice in my brain, but now I know that it’s something that’s been studied, something that lots of people deal with every day, just like anxiety or depression. And knowing that takes some of the loneliness out of it, even if I know that I’ll probably always be this way.


What do you think of “Imposter Syndrome”? Have you ever suffered from it, or do you know someone who you think might suffer from it? Please feel free to leave a comment!

Awesome Surprise Mail from Stephen Higgins!

It’s always a huge surprise whenever anyone sends us anything to open on the channel – you people rock! – but this package was extra surprising because we didn’t know it was coming and it was something we desperately wanted! Thank you so much, Stephen, for sending us this Funko Shop exclusive that we otherwise wouldn’t have been able to get! 😀

“H” is for “Horror Addict” – An A-to-Z Blogging Challenge Post

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For the A-to-Z Challenge 2017 I’m writing all about myself. Every post will be some random fact or bit of information about me that you may or may not have already known. Maybe you’ll learn something! Feel free to let me know! ^_^


Let’s get one thing out of the way right here and now: when I was a kid I was an epic wuss. The scariest thing I used to watch was “Are You Afraid of the Dark?”, and the scariest things I used to read were the “Goosebumps” books, and both would occasionally give me nightmares. I enjoyed kid-level scary stuff, but in general I couldn’t much handle horror. I remember I once, when I was about 8 or 9, I walked in on a friend of mine while she was watching Child’s Play, and I was absolutely petrified of dolls for months afterward.

That said, as I got older I got a little bit tougher and a little bit tougher…and then I started dating Jason, and things went from 0 to 60 real quick. You see, Jason was, is, and probably always will be, a horror aficionado. One of the first dates we had, he got me to watch Evil Dead 2 with him, and things just progressed from there. Before I even knew what was happening I’d seen more horror movies than most people I know combined. We went to the theater to watch them, we rented them (back when you still could rent movies), we picked them up on VHS when old rental places were getting rid of them, and bit by bit we amassed a collection of them on VHS, DVD, and Bluray, which now numbers in somewhere between 4- and 500 (I’ve lost count).

On top of that, being thrust so fully into the world of horror movies, I found myself gravitating more toward other forms of horror as well. I fell in love with Stephen King, among other horror authors, and began writing horror of my own. Jason and I would even play horror video games together sometimes, and although I’d become a little less sensitive to the genre by that time, playing Fatal Frame 2 nearly gave me numerous heart attacks.

Over the years I’ve become so desensitized to horror that very little really genuinely frightens me anymore, and believe it or not, I’m not necessarily happy about that outcome. Although it wasn’t the greatest being a little wuss who had nightmares all the time, the truth of the matter is that it can be very fun to be scared sometimes, under the right conditions, and I hardly ever experience that anymore now. There have been a few movies to genuinely freak me out in more recent years – Shutter, the original version from Thailand, scared the crap out of me – but there have also been plenty of supposedly super-scary movies that didn’t faze me in the slightest.

Mind you, that doesn’t change how much I’ve grown to love horror. It’s a part of me now, and I don’t think that’s ever going to change. Everything from the genuinely terrifying to the absolutely ridiculous (I’m lookin’ at you, Apocalypse Cow) tickles my fancy, and I imagine it’s going to be that way for pretty much the rest of my days.